“She Never Wanted to Feel That Way Again”: Kate’s Journey from sick leave to self-care
In her first 3 months of coaching, this C-Suite executive is back from sick leave and enjoying work again – but this time with a plan.
“It’s good for me to read this back – a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much I have achieved.”
Kate (not her real name) had been off sick for several weeks already when we met and in truth didn’t want to go back.
The first conversation was about how she’d tried everything she could, had been off sick before, managed to go back and this time just didn’t think she could do it anymore.
But she had no idea what else to do.
After 3 months, she is back at work, has a well-being routine every day that keeps her good all week and is enjoying work again.
There have been changes though. She works part time, is re-writing her job description and is adamant that she will never get in that state again.
She has a plan for how to work so that she remains okay, she knows her medium-term vision and knows how to work towards that. And she has my support to implement the next stage of her life.
The Practical Steps
The process to help Kate get to this place went like this:
- She designed a well-being routine that meant she was getting better each day. We needed to fight the fire.
- She decided what she wanted and needed to do in the short term, which was to return to work so she kept the income while deciding what else she wants to do. She needed a plan that she was able to get behind.
- But she was clear that a) long term the job was not for her and b) her job description was far too big, not only for her to do but too big for any individual to do long term.
In a sense, that was the easy part – practical steps to deal with the facts of the situation.
What happened next was the true value of coaching in my opinion: uncovering and dismantling with the reasons she had landed into that situation.
The Hidden Patterns Causing Her Issues
One significant discovery so far is a habit of putting other people first.
For instance, she manages the workload of her team brilliantly … but takes on their overflow herself.
She and her husband work from home … he has an office in one spare bedroom, she was crammed into a corner of the dining room so the other spare room was available for visitors.
She supports her daughter well … even when she is exhausted personally.
The impact of this pattern is easy to predict. But why she does that and how she can change – THAT is the real opportunity. By uncovering the drivers for that pattern and dismantling them, she will have mastered that pattern for the future.
The impact has already been a shift in her working life, her marriage, her health and her relationship with her daughter.
I am so proud of her, she’s a fabulous client.
How I’m Working With Kate
When I take on a coaching client like Kate, I form a long-term relationship and I commit to them. My role is to:
- Help them in the short term to be okay – to put out the fire
- To discover and dismantle the hidden patterns that caused the problems they originally came to me about, and
- To enable them to become masterful at managing themselves so that they never again fall victim to the things that used to trip them up. This future-proofing is the most powerful outcome of my coaching – I help empower clients to not need me anymore.
To mentor someone is special enough.
To coach means to walk alongside someone and guide them, teach them, hold their hand, carry them when necessary and eventually wave them off on their journey empowered, strong, self-aware and confident of their ability to thrive.
That is a privilege that touches me in a way I cannot adequately describe.
If you would like to experience what is possible for you with committed, 100%-all-in support from someone who believes in you far more than you might ever believe in yourself, message me “Hi, can we please chat about my work situation” and let’s start to fight your fire too.
Postscript
I met with Kate last Thursday evening, 6 months on. She was glowing. I remember early on in our coaching I’d asked her when she last felt really, really well and she’d shown me a picture from 7 years ago of her on her bike, by the sea. Well, she looked exactly like that picture – minus the bike obviously.
She was happy, bouncing, calmer and absolutely loving her new job. Success used to look like climbing the greasy pole, now it looks like doing work she loves, with people she cares about and finishing work promptly so she can have a life again.
Here’s what she said has contributed to her new lease of life:
🟡 She puts herself first now. Far from selfish, she calls it ‘self-full’ and recognises that when she is well, happy and strong, everything around her – including her relationship – is better.
🟡 She sets and maintains her boundaries firmly, meaning that she knows what she wants and doesn’t settle. She might have to negotiate with work or husband or family, but she goes in knowing her position. She said she has my voice in her head and asks herself “what would Neil say here?”. That accountability helps her stay on track.
🟡 She looks after herself every day as a priority. For her that’s walking on the beach, coffee and journaling and spending time with loved ones.
One of the greatest joys of doing what I do is the ripple effect: the changes in her are rippling out to those around her too. I have helped one person and in turn, they are influencing others around them. She is challenging people to not settle in their own lives. She is holding people accountable to what they said they would do – at work too. She is a mirror now, supporting an strengthening everyone she comes into contact with.
She’s a new woman and a strong one too. I cannot wait to see what she creates next.