“My business needs me” – and why that is the problem.
It’s the end of the first quarter of 2026 – the start of Q2.
The demands seem to multiply – the weight grows.
You’ve tried to delegate before but it takes 10 times longer. You’re so busy because the business works – busy is good, right.
But to grow – well, that’s going to need even more of you – more of what works.
There are still days that you love it, but it’s also oddly dissatisfing too – this isn’t what you imagined or hoped it would be like.
The same money for being a lot less busy would be amazing.
What if …
What if you are the problem?
What if business isn’t meant to need the owner for every single decision? What if – in order to expand, step back or hand over, you need to manage yourself out of a job?
Obviously, that’s impossible because everything goes though you.
So …?
And this is the cycle that business owners get stuck in. I see it in almost every owner I speak with, to some degree or another.
And it’s a trap. A systems trap, a structural trap. An identity trap.
You work hard and success happens – which proves that your business needs you.
You are the tiller of your business – and therein is the identity trap: you become your business. Which means that no one else can do what you do because only you can do it the way your business demands. To keep your clients, to retain the income, only you can do the key things.
If you want to step back or hand over, you have to shift this. If you want to expand, you have to shift this. To protect your business, yourself and your family, you have to shift this.
The two have become the same thing – you and the business. Interwoven. Indistinguishable.
And no strategy, training, hack or course will change this. This is not a “doing problem” – you cannot fix this using a task list or a time management app.
So What Does Fix This?
You have done this for years and built to this stage.
But to grow from £100k to the next stage … it’s not the same identity, role or skills that you used up to this point.
Your next identity is not necessarily bigger, but it’s certainly different – less producer and director – and more CEO … setting teams up to fly solo and multiply your direction and mission.
I experienced this myself each time I expanded my business. I reached a point where I felt I was the old version of myself showing up with different sorts of leaders. Holding that place felt hard, like I was trying.
But when I took the mental and emotional step to recognise that I am already on the same plane as those people – that I do that work already and have done for over a year – I grew my identity. It felt natural to be in those spaces and my next clients clients found me. In reality they were always there, but with my expanded identity, they found me naturally. And I felt totally comfortable again.
How to Manage that Identity Upgrade
First, you recognise the identity you currently inhabit and choose the appropriate next level. Then you visualise being that person – how they move, speak, dress, tackle problems etc. Then you practice embodying that new identity until it becomes as familiar as your old one did.
But that’s harder than it sounds,
The first issue is spotting the old identity: it’s been your normal for so long, it’s hard to tell where you end and your adopted identity begins. Then you must imagine the new identity without imposter syndrome creeping in. And finally the most difficult step is adopting that new identity in full integrity, knowing that you already belong there.
Which might look like “fake it until you make it” but it isn’t, and – if you try that – not only do you feel out of alignment, but others around you notice something “off” about you. They might not be able to articulate it, but they will feel it and the results don’t flow in.
If that sounds contradictory and difficult to get your mind around … that’s why this work is so hard to do on your own.
But not impossible. A recent client went from firefighting the issues that dropped out of team meetings to setting expectations, standing back and course-correcting in the space of 8 weeks. And she’s transforming her whole business as a direct result. Shifting your identity really is the shift that precedes the seemingly effortless change that you see some people making.
And if you’ve read to here, then you are not only ready for this shift, but you probably already feel and know something of the gap between where your identity rests now and where it needs to be for your next growth – both for yourself and for your business.
Book a call. Let’s talk through what you are experiencing and decide how best to move forwards.
Most people who do this say the same thing afterwards: “I didn’t expect the conversation to go there”. Because they were expecting strategy and systems, not their own inner perceptions.
If you are curious what that means for you, let’s find out.