Try this: don’t think of a blue elephant.
What did you see in your mind’s eye? An elephant perhaps? Maybe a blue one?
Most people do and the reason is simple:
Your mind cannot process a negative. In order to do that it has to conjure up the thing you don’t want to think about and then decide to NOT think about it!
So if you think “I don’t want to feel so tired”, your mind thinks tired.
If you think “I want fewer hassle clients”, your mind thinks hassle clients.
I cannot not …
The solution to this conundrum is to take your thinking one stage further, to what you DO want. Here’s an example:
- I want fewer hassle clients
- What do I want instead … ?
- I want cooperative, profitable and fun clients
How much better does it feel when you think about having cooperative, profitable and fun clients versus hassle clients?
That’s the Blue Elephant effect in action.
So whenever you notice yourself thinking or saying what you don’t want, go that next step and decide what you want instead. Then think about and talk about that.
If you’d like a simple process that does this for you, check out the Reframe Negative Thoughts Worksheet in the Free Resources section.
