Why You Might Be Stuck Already in 2026 (And the Simple Workaround)
In December, she said she needed new clients by the end of January. So far, zero progress.
I just came off a call with a client who not only has a serious health issue, but whose business is also struggling to gain new clients. (Details anonymised.) We have seen her pattern before: she will move heaven and earth for others, but does not do the same for herself.
I was immediately reminded of the Four Tendencies from Gretchen Rubin’s book “Better Than Before”:
The Upholder
The Questioner
The Obliger
The Rebel
Swimming against the current is hard
This client has powerful influences from The Obliger, and we tackled that on the call today. She described how, if a close friend had these health issues, she would be on the phone all day long and get them resolved, fast. Equally, if she were the business manager for someone else, there is no way even a week would go by without meaningful progress by the team.
She is swimming against the current of her main tendency when she tries to do all of this purely for herself.
So we talked it through using a simple exercise. She imagined herself sitting in a chair opposite her – in pain, frustrated, and stuck. I could see her getting angry and motivated on her own behalf.
What does that woman opposite you need to happen? I asked.
Her response was immediate: well, she needs the GP firmly challenged and her bl**dy team to do what they should be doing!
So how can you make that happen for her? I asked – and she was off, unblocked.
She is an Obliger, but by shifting it to obliging for someone else, her pattern is circumvented and she can be powerful again. It is going to be an interesting week and I cannot wait to see what she achieves by Friday.
If you want a quick overview of the Four Tendencies, I wrote a short blog summarising them here: xxxxxxx
What have you done in 2026 so far?
It is now week 5 of 2026 and if you have not yet done much of what you said you would do differently, check whether a tendency is part of the cause. Everyone is a mix of several, but you will likely resonate with one most right now.
If you are an Obliger, chances are you will struggle to do things for yourself, so create outside accountability.
If you are a Questioner, anything you say you want to do has to be backed up by an excellent reason, or you simply will not follow through. So make sure the reason is compelling for you.
For Upholders, if you state clearly what you need to do, it will likely happen. Turn your goals into simple tasks and schedule them.
And if you are a Rebel, you need to feel free and excited about what you intend to do and you will naturally be remarkably energetic, committed, and courageous. So what excites you most right now? Start there.
If you have yet to get much traction in 2026 on the things you said you wanted to be different, check whether there is a tendency that is stopping you. Then come up with strategies to circumvent that for yourself.
And if you draw a blank, get on a call with me and we can do it together.
The 4 Tendencies are described further in this article