And Why AI is so seductive …
I’ve been working with a group of business owners this week.
AI came up, a lot, as you can imagine. The seductive part of that tool is that business owners get told what to do. From time to time, we all want that.
In my conversations, this week the one thing that stood out was that they crave encouragement.
What they asked for was different, though. They said things like
- I just want someone to tell me what to do sometimes
- Is this a good idea?
- I asked ChatGPT but the advice didn’t seem to apply to my business
From their perspective, they have plans, the commitment to implement them, the skills to overcome problems, and what they felt they lack was confidence.
But when it came down to it, when I encouraged them, they grew confidence for themselves.
What they were really saying
What is “tell me what to do” that really, except “I trust you so I’ll be confident to do this if you say so”.
“Is this a good idea?” – this is the same: if you – someone who’s done it already – say this is a good idea, I’ll have the confidence to take action.
I asked ChatGPT … well we all know the rabbit holes that open up after a few prompts …
And it’s so seductive when you type in a prompt and get told what to do.
But being told what to do – while attractive in the moment – is not building you, it is diminishing you. Statements shut down the creative parts of our brains, while questions open them up. Try this simple example:
- “I don’t know” … my shoulders dropped even as I typed that!
- “What could I do here?” … feels different doesn’t it.
Telling someone what to do has much the same effect. Sadly, ChatGPT and tools like it do that so quickly and easily, that the temptation is to reach for the keyboard and not think for yourself.
Dangerous for someone who runs their own business and needs to build their skills, not outsource them to a machine that might get turned off someday.
Encouragement is the secret sauce
Encouragement powers up the business owner, right where they are. It validates all their learning, knowledge, experience. It says “you’ve got this”. That it’s a workable idea, that you have the skills to implement, that you’ve got loads of experience implementing before. That you have solved lots of problems, and if any problems crop up this time, you’ll be able to solve those too.
And Encouragement BUILDs strength too
Telling someone what to do empowers them in the here and now. But it can make that person dependent upon you.
Encouragement, however, empowers them inside and builds strength that remains theirs. You’ve got this. Great idea, go for it. Let me know how you get on. Call me if you have a problem, but I don’t think you will.
That lights a fire inside the business owner. It powers them forwards. And – more than that – it proves to them that they can do it themselves. So next time, they have a little more confidence going into a new situation.
Effective Coaching is super-powered Encouragement
I find 3 things to reflect on that are great for every “did you think about this?” question.
I go out of my way to spot – and comment on – the wins, the successes, the things done, because those are the evidence of being able to do it. I show business owners all the times they have won through and they grow before my eyes. Piling the evidence high that they have solved so many issues before and this is just another one – no biggie, you’ll sort this one too.
Resilience grows
Confidence grows.
More confidence actually feeds your problem-solving ability, so you get better at fixing things
You experience more success, overcome more problems and your self-belief grows.
One of my favourite quotes from Brendon Burchard is this – “Confidence isn’t having done something before, it is knowing that – whatever happens – you’ll be able to work it out”.
That’s core in my work with clients and encouragement is one of the powerful tools I use to achieve that.
I saw this play out with a client, Wendy. She’d been running her business for fifteen years and doing everything alone. She didn’t need me to tell her what to do – she needed someone to hand her ownership of her own decisions back. Within weeks she was making calls she’d been putting off for months. [link to case study]
If you recognise yourself in any of this – even a little – I would love to hear what landed. Reply here or send me a message directly.